There are some red flags... depending on what you are looking for. Again if a sub/slave is looking to meet their demise you might be able and willing to give them what they want but you probably won't be able to give them what they need. If you don't understand the difference, you have NO business being with them. This may be consensual but it is certainly NOT safe OR sane. If someone, that you don't believe you can trust, says they just wants to get together with you to scene or have sex with you... run the other way. Again, this is not safe or sane. If you can trust them but don't see that you could have an ongoing relationship with them - it MIGHT be okay to "play" but make sure that all parties involved are aware of the situation. Being open and honest is ALWAYS the best. If the first contact you have with a "Dom" is an e-mail saying - "on your knees bitch and worship Me." Delete it and DO NOT bother to respond. They aren't worth wasting your time on. There are plenty of unattached Doms as well as subs/slaves - look for someone with at least reasonably similar interests to yours. If you are more service oriented and your potential partner is more pain oriented (or vice versa) you eventually will both be miserable - move on. Also, if someone that you just met online insists on meeting you NOW or demands your phone number I strongly suggest you avoid ANY further contact. I have met a number of wonderful people in time but I always chat with them for quite awhile on line before deciding to exchange phone numbers, talk a few times on the phone while continuing to chat online and then MAYBE decide to meet in person. If they want you to pack up and move half way across the country (or if they are a sub asking for money so that they can relocate to you) within five minutes of contact RUN the other way. Again neither of those options are reasonable and again certainly not safe or sane. Yes, I have seen these situations occur both to Me and others. If someone is ready to move in with you or have them move in with you within five minutes of your first communications - RUN. Also, there are a number of foreign subs/slaves looking for a free trip to the United States - they may or may not be a sub/slave but there is also a very good chance that they are not. NEVER SEND MONEY TO ANYBODY FOR ANY REASON!!! If you decide that things might work out between the parties involved in the communications your best bet is to go get them if they need a way to get to you. This life is based on trust and respect and that CANNOT in any way shape or form be decided in five minutes of online communications. I don't know you from Adam (or in this case Eve) and how can I get to know you in just a few sentences online. ANYBODY CAN BE ANYTHING online. I insist on weeks to months of communications, especially if you are any substantial distance away... if you are within roughly an hour and things go well in the communications online AND PHONE then maybe three to four weeks... and then your first meeting must be in a public place - and if you don't have a safe call in place I would worry as well... (see My musing on "FIRST MEETING". One other thing I tend to look for is that the person has a basic grasp of the English language and spelling.
If you do have an online profile on a BDSM site and someone contacts you from it - above all - look for clues that the person read your profile. Any indications that they didn't take the time to read - please, STEER CLEAR of them. If they can't take the time to read your profile - they probably are just contacting everyone - throw enough stuff against the wall and something will probably stick at some point... they are NOT what you need and probably not what you want either. This could be anything, but especially if your interests don't mesh... that is usually the first thing I look for.
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