Tuesday, January 11, 2011
FEAR VS RESPECT
Any sub or slave that is terrified and/or scared of their Dom is not in a BDSM relationship - they are in an abusive relationship. If you do something wrong and know there are going to be retribution it is one thing but if you are constantly walking on egg shells out of fear of doing something wrong... GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP AS FAST AS YOU CAN. You should do things for your Dom out of love, adoration and respect NOT out of shear terror. A true Dom WILL earn your respect before even considering taking you on as a sub/slave. If you are constantly being put down and being told you are worthless you are in an abusive relationship. You should receive some sort of affirmation from your Dom, at least periodically such as "you please Me" or "you are doing well in your role as My sub/slave." Yes I do realize that their are relationships where the slave is nothing more than a possession but again that MUST be a mutual decision (consensual) and even in those cases, the slave (yes at this point you are a slave as you have given up any and all autonomy) you MUST respect your Dom and do things out of a respect, not total terror. Again, a true Dom will still take care of and care for Their possession if They desire Their relationship with Their slave to last. If they don't, you should, NO - MUST, leave that relationship ASAP. A BDSM relationship is NOT an abusive relationship. Yes, a Dom MAY use and abuse Their sub/slave just because they want to but if you are constantly terrified of your Dom - they are NOT a Dom they are an abuser and there is NO room for an abusive relationship in BDSM or vanilla. Trust your instincts. If you are afraid to be alone, just remember, there are plenty of true Doms out there and it's better to be alive in order to look for a true Dom then end up maimed or dead and never find that right person.