Sunday, November 21, 2010


I hate to use these terms but it seems that anything addressing BDSM needs to point this out.  Dom's as well as subs/slaves, especially newbies, when they first discover that other people actually participate in their same interests get caught up and want to jump into a relationship so as to experience their wants and desires.  This is human nature, and there is nothing wrong with it.  The problem is, it clouds the thought process, and causes people do things they would NOT normally do.  People jump into a relationship with people that they either don't know or just barely know.  While this also happens in "vanilla" relationships it is critical to get to know your perspective partner in BDSM.  A Dom, especially an inexperienced one, or worse one who isn't truly a Dom or doesn't yet understand what it means to be a Dom, can do real physical and/or emotional damage to a sub/slave.  As a sub/slave there are situations where your LIFE is literally being placed at the hands of someone else.  Are you willing to do that with a total stranger or someone that you just barely know.  I have met some wonderful people on the internet, both those in BDSM as well as "vanilla".  That being said, I also use caution.  I will take WEEKS of daily chatting, followed by phone chats (while continuing to chat on line) before agreeing to meet anybody.  Then I insist on meeting at some public venue for coffee, tea, lunch or whatever.  That way the potential sub/slave feels safe as I do not know where they live and with people around nothing is going to happen then and there.  Also, as I stated in early postings, I have and insist that the sub/slave also have a safe call.  A friend or family member that knows that I am meeting someone and I will call them to let them know that I am okay within a reasonable amount of time.  Again, they don't need to know that the meeting has anything to do with BDSM.  You can just state that you are meeting someone that you met on line and have been chatting quite awhile and decided to meet.  Is this safe?  How safe is leaving a bar, when you have been drinking, and going home with someone you just met that night?  All I am saying is try to use as clear a mind as possible when meeting a potential BDSM partner.  Remember - anybody can pose to be anything on the internet.

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