Tuesday, October 26, 2010
WHAT IS A SUB/SLAVE
Sub is short for submissive. A sub or slave that is NOT your sub or slave deserves the same respect that you would show anyone else. It takes a strong person to turn control of their life over to someone else and that takes trust. Trust takes time to develop and therefore it is critical that you don't start ordering them around UNTIL they accept you as their Dom. Obviously during a scene is one thing but when the scene is over so is your empowerment over the respective sub/slave. A sub/slave deserves the ultimate of care. Just like a car, if you don't change the oil, check the fluids, wash and wax it regularly it will brake down when you need it the most. You wax, oil and polish your fine furniture. If you have a hunting dog you need to work with it, care for it and spend time with it. You need to do the same thing with a sub/slave - if you don't take care of it eventually it will break down. You need to train your sub/slave as well and as such I believe that there needs to be a list of rules so that everyone is on the same page and knows the expectations. Punishing a sub/slave for a broken rule that they didn't know existed is not punishment it is ABUSE. A sub/slave must not only trust but also respect their Dom - both of which need to be earned... if Your sub/slave does not respect/trust you, you would both be better off going your separate ways. A sub/slave should NEVER show disrespect for their Dom and if they can't trust you and don't respect you this is virtually impossible. A sub/slave is a student that must be trained and molded and that takes time. The difference between a sub and a slave has been an ongoing debate. I am probably not going to be able to answer that here as there have been better Dominants than I fighting with this one but... basically the difference is the level of control they give up. The stereotypical 1950's housewife in this day and age could be considered a sub. A slave turns COMPLETE control of their life over to their Dominant. This is to the point of what clothes they will (or won't) wear... could be complete nudity 24 hours a day 7 days a week. When and WHERE they go to the bathroom. What they will eat - OFTEN OUT OF A BOWL ON THE FLOOR. Those are pretty much the extremes and I am not sure where the magic line is that divides them. I believe that it is where the Dominant makes virtually all of the decisions for their respective submissive that they become a slave. I also believe that a sub that has a death wish and advertises it accordingly needs services that a Dom can't (or shouldn't) provide. To keep BDSM safe, sane and consensual all parties involved need to be safe, sane and consenting. The role of the sub/slave is to cherish and show and bring honor to their Dom - therefore, again the sub/slave MUST trust and respect their Dom.