Thursday, October 28, 2010


Know what you are looking for... are you more service oriented... looking for a servant or to be a servant or more of a sadomasochistic relationship?  Do you just want to wait on your Dom hand and foot and are devastated just knowing that you disappointed your Dom?  As a Dom do you want someone that if you give Your sub/slave a certain look you know they have learned their lesson?   Or do you want someone that would thrive on being chained, stark naked outside in the dirt and mud, eating out of a bowl - or are you willing to be subjected to that.  How about being chained in a dark room for days on end - not knowing what day of the week or month it is?  What about Your Dom (or anyone of their choosing) entering the room to beat you or take you sexually however and whenever They desire?  Yes - I know people in the life that cover the gamut described here.  There are subs/slaves that let Their Dom hang them from meat hooks in their skin.  KNOW what you desire and look for at least a reasonable match - or none of the parties will be happy.  This gets back to the safe, sane and consensual.  Are you willing to accept or do you want to give piercings, tattoos or branding?  How about castration or labia suturing?  Polyamorous, multiple partners or monogamous?  Make a list of things you love or at least think you would, things that you MIGHT consider - even if it scares you, and things that you would NEVER do BEFORE you start looking for a partner.  If you don't know these things I can pretty well guarantee that whoever you partner with will NOT work out and it will be a miserable relationship at best and leave you with a bad taste.  You need to arrive at a mutually acceptable list with any potential partner and this is where the contract enters in.  Most importantly KNOW who you are getting involved with.  I am NOT trying to scare you off, I just want you to be aware of what and who you are getting involved with.  I know a number of people on both sides that love the life and the people that truly are in the life and understand it are much more open and honest than people in the "vanilla" life.  There truly are some very awesome people in the world of BDSM - just do everything you can do to make sure you are compatible with any person/people that you get involved with.

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